How the Jagan came to be
by xblackcherriesx
Summary: A random script...prepare to lose brain cells.
1. Chapter 1

**Title: how the Jagan came to be.**

**Rating: K+**

**Category: Comedy (and or random stupidity)**

**Character: Hiei**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWNE HIEI! (though I wish I did)**

**Author: xblackcherriesx (Ren) and .kuroxfye. (Emi)**

**For the record just to let you all know, I DO KNOW THE JAGAN REALLY CAME TO BE! So don't get mad at me for this… like I said 'random stupidity' between me and my friend.**

_Somewhere deep in the forests of the demon world over 2 years ago, this is the story of a demon who would rise against them all… who would dare to go where no demon has ever gone before… 'he must be emo'_

Hiei: c- mon do it! Do it now damn!… seriously burn me already dammit!

Emi (a wind demon): what.. Why the hell are we doing this to you again?

Hiei: BECAUSE I SAID SO!

Ren (a vampire): heh, he's an idiot… that's what I think.

Emi//nods in agreement/ I second that motion.

Hiei: I am not… I want power.. Power to rule them all//insert evil laugh/

Emi: riiiggghhhttt, and I want to marry kurama.. But I don't see that happening.

Ren: and I wanna be a bunny… hey it could happen.

Hiei: hell no! Kurama's mine! And you, bunnies are over rated.

Ren: no their not//sprays pepper spray at Hiei's forehead/

Hiei: what the hell! It burns!

Emi: ha ha, loser…. Whoa what the… it's burning a hole in your face!

Hiei: ya… my face is really sensitive…. OMG, it's between my eyes, this is gonna look like a giant zit later.

Ren: hah, nope… more like a third eye

Hiei: seriously?

Ren: you didn't know that pepper spray side effects include turning pituitary glands into third eyes?

Hiei: ohh hell no! I haven't hit puberty yet! Without the pituitary I'll never grow!

Crowd//gasp/

Emi: OMFG it's glowing purple!

Hiei: what a horrible day

/ Kurama walks out from the trees/

Kurama: Hiei… what are you doing here?

Hiei//looks at him in horror/ DON'T LOOK AT ME!

Ren: hey, guess what… Hiei's stuck in a phase of constant child hood.

Hiei//still hiding face/ and you're in one of stupidity… your point?

Emi: Kurama.. Be my bride

Kurama: uhh huh… Hiei, what's wrong?

Hiei: I've grown… an eye

Kurama: well then… you should name it

Ren: name it?

Kurama: didn't you know… it's part of the third eye ritual 'if anyone should ever gain a third eye it must be given a cool and catchy name'

Hiei//stands up/ SNAP!

Ren//snaps her fingers/

Hiei: how about… 'the crushinator'

Emi: isn't that what you named your penis.. Or rather lack there of…

Hiei: right… hmm how about 'captain crunch'

Ren: that's a cereal… how about 'Lola'?

Kurama:… he's a guy, and Hiei you're retarded

Hiei: you wouldn't do any better if your pituitary was just zapped into an eye… for all I know we've killed key brain functions

Emi: no I'm sure there wasn't much to kill.

Ren: so what shall the name be.

_So, what will Hiei name his third eye, how will they come to the conclusion, will kurama dump him for Emi, will Ren turn into a bunny… or not turn into a bunny? Find out in the next chapter or…. "Hiei goes to Cleveland!".. I mean umm… "How the Jagan came to be."_

**Can't say I didn't warn you this would be stupid… we've probably killed some of your brain cells. Well, good day…. I'll add a chapter eventually…**

Ren: Kurama, if you don't want him, can I have him?

Kurama: then who will be my fuck buddy?


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: How The Jagan Came To be.**

**Rating: K+**

**Category: Comedy (and/or random stupidity)**

**Character: Hiei**

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HIEI (Though I wish I Did)**

**Author: xblackcherriesx (Ren) and .kuroxfye. (Emi)**

Hiei: You wouldn't do any better if your pituitary was just zapped into an eye... for

all I know we've killed key brain functions

Emi: No I'm Sure there wasn't much to kill.

Ren: So what shall the name be?

Kurama: what... who's that hiding in the bush?

//everyone looks at the bush\\

Ashley Simpson: Huh... Ohhhhhh i was just passing threw...

Ren//Looks Angry\\... Let. Me. At. Her!

Emi//retrains her arms\\ SOMEONE HELP ME!

Ren: Grr

Hiei: WTF?

Kurama//stares blankly\\

Ashley: Hissssssssss!

Ren//pulls out bass guitar\\ GET BACK HERE YOU BITCH!

Ashley: oh shit. //runs for it\\

Hiei: AHHH watch where you're going you whore!

//Ashley collides with Hiei\\

Hiei: GORPHINLAPTON!!!

Emi: What'd he Say?

Hiei:...I'm... in...PAIN!...

Kurama: sounded like he said Gordon Lap Prom to me... Just throw'in that out there.

Ren//Stops running\\ hmmmm, sounded like Jagan from how fast he said it... //Rolls eyes\\

Emi: That's Not Even A Word.

Ashley: Hmmm Jagan... Only Sexy beasts have that name //walks off\\

Kurama: IT'S PERFECT!

Emi: For what?

Kurama: Hiei's Eye Of course!

Ren//puts on bunny ears...sneaky like...\\

Emi: For the love of Francis, Take those off.

Ren: NEVER... I'm a playboy bunny.. of doommmmm OoooOOOOOoOoOo!

Kurama: Oro?

Hiei: and SHE'S my stalker?... it's all so wrong.

Puu//Fly's In\\ puu puu puu puu puu puu!

Kurama: WHAT'S THAT YOU SAY... someone RE-ARAGNED MY SPICE DRAWER?!?!?!?

Puu: Puuuuuu! Puu puu puu….. Puu …yusuke

Kurama: and Yusuke's in DRAG!?

Puu: PUUUUUUU

Kurama: this I GOTTA see…. And fix my spices… //leaves//

Ren: Holy FUCKING god…. It talked

Puu: puu?

Emi:…Yusuke's not an actual word.

Hiei//sulking// my puberty!

//Ozzy Osborne enters//

Ozzy: Allow me to tell a tale of which the likes have never been spoken in mortal words… One upon a time there was a fairy Barbie princess angel named GORPHINLAPTON, Gorphonlapton had cancer… in her ass. So one day the prince of Canada named Jagan wanted to merry the lovely princess but had a fear of cold medicine.

One cold night, while riding his steady steed, Captain Crunch, into the deep forest of Dumbledore where his loyal misfits lay awaiting orders in the evergreens. Prince Jagan of Canada planned to ask the mighty Dumbly army for cold medicine to cure the cancer in his Beloved ass. Having to brave his fear, he rode on into the night. He eventually approached the unsuspecting misfit wizards and the stood with caution. When he spoke of his problems the youngest of followers took step forward with bravery. Frodo spoke. "Na nananananananana BATMAN!" he called out in battle cry and the rest followed. The prince was mistaken as an enemy and as a follower of you- know -who. They attacked late into the night before one mighty soul took lead… it was Elvis. Elvis called for peace in the lands of a place. He negotiated with the prince and gave him cold medicine for Gorphonlapton . The prince, happy as a clam…jamming went straight to his lovers castle in mordor.

Emi: O.O what. The. Crap.

Hiei: This has nothing to do with my eye!

Ren: SHH! This is getting good!

Ozzy: What the Prince Jagan Didn't know was the Cold Medicine that the Great White Elvis gave him would Convert to pepper spray when exposed to the radiation created by the light savers in the princess's land. The instruction where simple, as directions on the back of the box, 'USE: EMPTY CONTENTS INTO 3 CUPS OF BOILED WATER, COVER AND TURN DOWN HEAT TO 6 DEGREES, LEAVE TO SIMMER FOR 12 HOURS.. SERVE IN LUKE WARM TEMPS.' He followed the directions perfectly and served the fair maiden. She however began turning green and grew purple eyes all over the yeti like body. The prince was distraught and ran back to Canada, she was never looked at by another man for her hideous appearance. And now it is a hereditary disease called Jackson pox, it is only activated by wizard pepper spray in the dumbly forest… and now you've activated it in your face… you suck.

Ozzy: Ozzy out!… ALL ABORD! A hahahahaha!

//Ozzy leaves//

Emi: …I'm so confused… does that mean Hiei had cancer?

Ren: … maybe… but I'd still tap that.

Hiei: WAIT!… Elvis? Damn… I need to get me some of that.

----End of chapter 2----

_Authors: Sorry for the wait… one of us didn't want to write. . and it isn't the one typing right now (kuroxFye)_

_Xblackcherriesx: well sorry if I got lazy . it got Finished didn't it… and I did type some of it…_

_Righty-o! next chapter there will be some really dramatic twists… this is such a tragedy, we're proud of our intense writing skillz._

Hiei: What Skillz?


End file.
